Moral Policing at its best !

After such a long hiatus, i almost feel like shouting “Hello World” at the top of my voice (reminded of ur first java program, eh??? ;))… no, i still havent got back on my feet fully, but have somehow finally dragged myself to type out this post…… well well well, the topic is controversial, to say the least, and ppl in TN will immly realise why i’ve come up with this piece at this time of the year…… anyway, to assist the uninitiated, a veteran tamil actress (lets call her Ms.X, for ease of typing) recently found to her dismay that airing one’s opinions about sex, in India (TN, in particular) can lead to high levels of emotional and mental trauma…. Instead of receiving a pat on her back for being honest abt something sensitive, she now faces a defamation suit against her….. I’m not here to express my unstinting support to Ms.X or to curse the public who revolted against her….. I’m basically concerned abt a couple of things here – one is that everybody has their right to speech, and in this case, I felt that Ms.X was well within her boundaries when she responded to a question from a magazine conducting a survey…. but the uproar that resulted from her remarks only reflects the narrow-mindedness of our revered Indian public for whom, the subject of sex, let alone pre-marital, has always been taboo. It was a highly personalised opinion expressed by Ms.X and is nothing more or less than that. If u are not able to agree to her point of view, that’s ur problem, and u can air out ur contradictory statement as well, but alas, burning effigies of celebrities has become a fashion these days and starting from Sourav’s in Allahabad to Chappell’s in Kolkata, we Indians seem to relish showing off our dissent publicly to matters ranging from honest personal opinions to the duties of certain highly placed officials. Anyway, this blog is not abt the right to freedom of speech, so let’s move on to my second concern brought about by this celeb controversy – the qn. of pre-marital sex and virginity. As a guy, I would not attach too much importance to either of these, and I daresay that most guys wud agree…… it is when u r a girl (esp., an Indian girl) that these terms are of paramount importance and somehow, the term ‘purity’ and ‘liberty’ spring to the mind of any female who comes across this magic V-word. The qn. is, why? Why is it that virginity means so much for a girl and not so for a guy? Is it only because it’s not physically possible to determine if a guy’s a virgin, while that’s not the case with the fairer sex? Has nature herself conspired against our fellow inhabitants from Venus by depriving them the right to determine if their better half is as “pure” as they are(in most Indian cases, atleast)? As u can see, I’m not a male chauvinist but lemme add that I hate feminists. Then why has this topic struck a chord with me?? Basically because I think I believe in love, more than anything else, and if u r well and truly in love with ur partner (husband/wife, boy/girlfriend, whatever) u wud be least bothered abt his/her past and virginity will cease to mean no more than a simple anatomical fact.

But ppls’ reaction to Ms.X’s remarks disappointed me completely…. Somehow, Indian society’s double standards seem to be more than playing their part here…. Our society is currently in a transitional state, with the middle-class values conflicting with the more liberal western values esp., wrt the topic. This state is a very delicate one, and maybe the only fault with Ms.X was that she failed to realise the significance of a lighted cigar in a haystack godown and was stupid enuf to be brutally honest abt something which has always been considered taboo in our gr8 country.

12 thoughts on “Moral Policing at its best !

  1. If the guys stayed within their limits and the girls understood what they are doing (99% of women like flirts.. not good men..)the world would be a much better place.


  2. Virginity is same for both guys and girls and should be treated in the same way.Should we bother about virginity – My $2 : Depends. On a lot of factors. Not going to discuss that 🙂Should we burn effigies and stuff for speaking out an opinion?My $2 : Big waste of time. Those who do are hopeless fellows who dont have anything better to do. I can bet half of those guys would be hypocrites themselves in some way or other.


  3. Ok… dude quite curious : who is this Tamil Actress… God forbid if it is Jyothika..Rightly put if you love a person then Virginity shud not matter.. Whereas take for eg. Arranged Marriages where there is hardly any bond before marriage: then what is ur opinion!!! U still dont care?


  4. odyssey, i know y u sound so acerbic, but u cant generalise that way is wat i feel… anyway, thx for ur commentCB, i agree with u completely and thx for ur comment…Esu, i’ll PM u the name of the actress…. as for arranged marriages, i wud still stick to my point of view, bcos, if u have to make ur marriage work u need to look at the future, and not give imp to watever happened b4…


  5. very true srinath…..virginity should matter at all if u in true love… poor ms.x…..opiniona enda voice out panninom nu feel panna vechutanga….


  6. well written!! and I agree with most of your opinions(for once at least). But your surprise/shock at the reactions to Ms.X’s comments seem out of place. I am not saying that I agree with these reactions. I definitely do not! But in a place where a hue and cry is raised for such silly things like the names of Tamil movies etc…this is not surprising at all… AND in a culture where arranged marriages are in vogue (these work only because of the strong social structure and nothing else) comments like these, however correct or honest they may be, are bound to elicit criticism even from refined/knowledgable/albeit traditional people. Though Indian society is undergoing a transition…we are closer to what we were before than to a completely new state of mind (and for good measure I guess).


  7. @BB: thanx a ton for recording ur comments… i’m not surprised/shocked, but disappointed at the way the tamil public reacted…. maybe bcos my hope that TN is opening up its mind and becoming more liberal abt such issues was quashed so brutally…… anyway, i cudnt grasp ur last sentence, cud u pls elaborate??


  8. Hey koosi!Wonderful blog! i completely agree – with the Indian society’s double standards.. for all the hue and cry abt westernization and taboo abt sex – India has the highest number of AIDS victims!! We worship female godesses – we kill female foetuses and infants instead.IMO – Indian society is much more hypocritical than the western world !


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